This week marks my last week working in internal medicine, before my internship takes me to cardiology. I have been working on the internal ward, the AOA (acute uptake ward), and taking new patients and doing follow-up consults at the outpatient clinic. Being my first placement, its been somewhat of a learning curve, and I thought it would be nice to document the major (and brutally honest) things which happened.
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| white coat |
9 Things that happened
1) I felt tired and overwhelmed.
It is a well known fact that medical students while on rotations are worked excessively - with long hospital hours, lots of (necessary) clinical reading, and never ending lists of (holy-unnecessary) assignments, but no amount of anticipation prepared me for the reality. Waking up at 5.20am everyday for a 6.30am train, working the entire day through (often skipping lunch) until getting home at 7pm before showering, eating, completing assignments for the following day, and then trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour before doing it all again tomorrow...5 days a week is very tiring. The element of having to keep up of consistently changing tasks everyday (work is always necessary, but everyday for something different) and knowing when to do what, creates another level of required organisation, leading to a new degree of tired. I have never had so many different tasks on the go at one time, and never worked so many hours in every day. Next week I start night shifts and weekend shifts IN ADDITION to what I'm already doing now. Oh lordy.
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| alone on the early morning train |
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| Roer(mond) |
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| Laurentius ziekenhuis |
2) I encountered a lot of deaths.
I was unaware of the reputation of internal medicine wards before I started to work there - the typical patient population is very old, has a long list of problems, and is very seriously sick. A lot of people die on the internal medicine ward. I knew I'd encounter the death of patients, but I was fairly taken aback by the frequency of this from my very first week onward.
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| on route home, over the Maas |
3) I felt connections with patients.
Everybody can get sick. Really people from all walks of life come into the hospital, and although working with the public has benefits (namely learning about interesting things I might have personally never encountered, getting new perspectives, and at times having a bit of fun) there are also drawbacks. I'm not referring to the occasional disagreeable
vreemde vogel, but to the patients who's stories are sad. Sometimes bad things happen to the best people, who absolutely do not deserve it, and these cases stay with you. This can be particularly difficult if you encounter a patient who either reminds you of someone close to you, or their situation reminds you of one you might have personal experience with.
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| mijn polikliniek kamertje |
4) I made friends.
I know this might sound a little silly, but given the overwhelming nature of the new environment and seemingly never ending tasks, I hadn't particularly factored in time for socialising or actually making real friendships. However I count myself as incredibly lucky for having been placed in a hospital with not only other friendly co-assistants, but also exceptionally friendly staff. I am so pleased to have met such cool people, and to have such a great atmosphere to work in.
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| ziekenhuis vrienden bij de bioscoop! |
5) I learned how to really appreciate the small things.
Experiencing the journey (as opposed to only focusing on the end destination) by way of enjoying little moments, is something I have always tried to do, but a skill that I have only now really improved. If you only have a half an hour free time in the evening, between hospital work, university work, practical home life things, and sleep, then you really do enjoy that cup of tea and half-hour show, period of reading, or little bit of knitting.
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| Sunday with tea, Harry Potter, and quiet study |
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| quiet hospital paperwork |
6) I realised that nobody has their s**t together.
The day I saw my favourite internist (shes amazing) walk into the
grote visite late and stand awkwardly in the doorway looking for somewhere to sit, was a definite moment for me. I realised that it was not the case that I was the doubt-filled odd one out in a hospital of people who all knew what they should be doing, and where they should be, and where they should be going. The idea that it is normal to have some degree of uncertainty, I found very comforting.
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| keuken van de afdeling (belangrijk om thee/koffie te pakken) |
7) I learned the importance of asking.
Very quickly in my first week I realised that it is always better to ask questions for clarification, rather than to act like you understood (with the intention of researching for yourself later). People
will proceed to ask you questions about said topic, and when it becomes clear you never understood, you do look like an absolute idiot.
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| polikliniek selfie |
8) I laughed at funny Dutch names for things.
I think this is inevitable when learning a new language, and most things which initially I found strange are now completely normal, but I will never stop smiling whenever I read
feces monster in lab notes.
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| favourite knitted socks for keeping cozy while writing reports |
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| misty morning |
9) I questioned whether I want to really do this or not.
I think this is a question that everybody who works in this field (or indeed anyone who works in a difficult area) will have asked themselves. I imagine this is also a question which will resurface at times of future challenges, but for the time being every doubt I have had has been met by minor successes creating every time the resounding answer; yes, for this stage in my life this is exactly what I want to be doing, where I want to be doing it.
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| kerk naast het ziekenhuis (van de brug tussen onze afdeling, en de AOA) |
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| Roer(mond) |
